Preventing Burnout: A 10 Step Guide for Women Over 40

Let’s help you take back control over the persistent stress in your life.

This is the final post in my series on Burnout 101 with a focus on women over 40. First Go Long covered what burnout is and isn't, and the second post explored how to recognize it. Last week was about emotional burnout and the unspoken labor contributing to it. This week’s post is about ways you can prevent burnout from happening in the first place! 

How Vulnerability Can Lead to Being Untethered

Starting Go Long has been a masterclass in vulnerability. I write and produce content, yet I have no idea how it hits with most of you. It’s unfamiliar to me and it’s good to get more uncomfortable with being comfortable. 

Then there’s being untethered. Like not having a clear game plan or enough support, which can really push you towards burnout. How?

• No Routine: Without set goals or rules, it’s easy to get swamped. You might end up biting off more than you can chew, trying to do everything at once, which just leads to feeling stressed out.

• Losing Steam: If you’re not sure what you’re aiming for, it’s tough to stay pumped about what you’re doing. That can drag you down fast because it feels like you’re working hard but not getting anywhere.

• Feeling Solo: Going at it alone without backup makes everything harder. Without “partners-in-crime”, it’s a lonely and rough road.

• Constant Guessing Game: Not knowing what’s expected of you or what’s coming next can be nerve-wracking. Living like that, always on edge, wears you out.

• Slacking on Self-Care: It's easy to forget to take care of yourself when there’s no structure. You might skip breaks, work crazy hours, and not chill enough, which isn’t good for anyone.

“Being untethered means you miss out on the things that usually keep you grounded and help handle the pressure, making burnout a whole lot more likely.”

Let’s Go Back in Time

In the early 90s, most colleges had Top 10 lists of must-do activities before graduation printed on t-shirts, inspired by a popular late-night talk show's nightly Top 10 List. This segment, created by the show’s writers, parodied common ranked lists in the media with ten themed, humorous items presented in countdown fashion. Initially a gag, it became a highlight of the show.

When I went to research what was on SUNY Oswego’s “Top 10 Things You Must Do Before You Graduate” back in the day, I was let down by Google, Reddit, ChatGPT and Perplexity. The list ranged from something innocuous such as watching a sunset over Lake Ontario to activities such as doing the “Bridge Street Run” and having sex in a study carrel. That’s 3 out of 10 for me that I can remember.

Taking a Page from The Top Ten List

When thinking about what I wanted to share about my lessons learned and what I do now to keep myself psychologically safe, a “Go Long” style Top Ten list was the way to go:

1. Looking for ‘love’ in all of the wrong places - you put your heart and soul into your job, and likely everything you do. But here’s the thing. The job, or really the company you work for, is never going to reciprocate that love back. Figuring out how to establish a boundary between taking pride in what you do and overwhelming your life is both critical and is a moving target. 

2. Call your shot and then don’t be afraid to change what that shot is - We often worry about others' opinions on our choices, from climbing the career ladder fast to exploring new industries or cities, focusing on health, or earning more money. Who cares? 

[SIDE NOTE: This is a very important thing, especially for women. Money pays bills and buys long-term financial security. We are shamed into thinking we shouldn’t make a job offer about money because that’s greedy. Screw that.]

Don’t be afraid to course correct because of what others might think. Live your life on your terms. It’s a lot easier that way!

3. Your body is the only one you get - I know. DUH-UH. Many people, myself included back in the day, neglect investing in their physical, mental, and emotional health, which is staggering. With rising life expectancy, quality of life declines due to obesity and chronic inflammation from prolonged stress.Your body has a “no return policy”.

4. Progress is not a linear journey - Life is going to get in the way. Accept that. You’re going to make progress and have setbacks. Some of those setbacks will be self-inflicted. That’s how you learn. Understanding how certain foods impact you is a process. You may push yourself too hard and get injured along the way. Document. Move on. Beating yourself up will only lead to burnout.

5. You can’t cardio your way out of osteoporosis - Cardio fits you into that cocktail dress but won't stop muscle and bone loss. You're more likely to suffer from declining life quality due to strength loss than other factors. Muscle burns calories even at rest, unlike cardio. I always feel better after lifting, even on days when I don’t have my “A” game, because I consider it investing in myself.

5a. You can’t outrun a bad diet - The food and drinks you consume impact long-lasting changes more than exercise. Innovations in weight loss pharmaceuticals show this, but understanding how your choices affect energy and cravings is key to feeling and moving better.

6. Understand what refills and what drains the tank - This took me until my 40s to start dialing this in. Getting outside and hiking is a big thing for me. It could be gardening for you. It could be ‘Wine Wednesday with your friends’. On the flip side, every job has tasks that you don’t look forward to. I take a proportionate amount of time to recharge my batteries to prevent burnout. 

7. Being ‘bad’ or ‘good’ is overrated - Our culture is rife with guilt over choices, from indulging in chocolate to eating salads. After running the NYC marathon in '11, I questioned when I could enjoy fried chicken guilt-free. This mindset perpetuates negative reinforcement, leading to burnout. Instead figure out ways to be consistent in the habits you want to develop. 

8. Investing in self-care isn’t selfish - This is a continuation of ‘understanding what fills and drains your tank’ by putting those thoughts into practice. If you don't regularly care for yourself, how can you support others who rely on you? Self-care varies; it might be your wind-down routine or playing pickleball with friends. It's a rewarding ritual because of the good feeling afterwards.

9. Change is hard and most of the time that work is unseen - In the airbrushed world of social media, we miss the behind-the-scenes effort needed for life changes. When I was a road warrior for 5+ years, I avoided alcohol and set exercise goals, despite teasing from colleagues. Prioritizing sleep for time zone changes and staying disciplined helped me avoid blaming my job for unhealthy choices, allowing me to be my best for my loved ones.

10. Lastly, focus on “What’s Your Why” - My goal is to live independently, and enjoy travel and hiking with my partner. This motivates my gym visits on tough days. For others, it might be playing with kids or grandkids. Focusing solely on weight loss can lead to shortcuts with long-term drawbacks. Consider what abilities you want to maintain decades from now. By focusing on "your why," weight loss can occur naturally over time, reducing burnout.

Do You Know Your Burnout Triggers?

This journey with Go Long has been inspired by not wanting others to have to go through the same machinations I did. 

It took me too long to recognize the recurring themes of burnout and what made sense for me to prevent it. How about you?

What if you could short-circuit the burnout and prolonged stress pattern to feel more like yourself?

What if you could work towards your physical health goals in a way that still allowed you to have ‘Wine Wednesdays’ with your friends?

Life is not about sacrifice. Life is about choosing the life you want to live and getting help on making it happen.