How Saying "F#@& It!" Every So Often Allows You to Create Your Own BFD Moments
Read on about the 1st time I intentionally decided to create space for something new when I didn't think it was possible.
[Estimated reading time: 4 minutes, 48 seconds.]
Anyone remember the movie, “Risky Business”, with Tom Cruise?
The movie put the now classic, “Old Time Rock ‘n Roll” by Bob Seger, on the map. The plot followed an overachiever, Joel Goodsen played by Cruise, morph into a risk taker for the 1st time.
A pivotal scene took place between Joel and Miles, his best friend, with Miles saying:
Every once in awhile, say WTF.
WTF gives you freedom.
Freedom brings opportunity.
Opportunity makes your future.
Possibility-focused vs. Task focused
Let’s face it - the reality of life is having to GSD, which means ‘getting shit done’. You have an endless ToDo list and feel as though life is a hamster wheel you can’t jump off of.
If you asked anyone who has spent time with me for more than 5 minutes, you would know I am all about knocking tasks off of my ToDo list.
Every once in awhile though, I need to take a different tack…. and say WTF! 🙋🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
Let’s hear it for being possibility-focused!
What does that mean?
An example can mean entertaining the thought of what would you do if you had more time in your day. I talked about a different example in this post.
Here’s a scenario I hear from clients (non-parents stay with me please):
Some, if not all, of their kids in college are either dorming away from home or commuting someplace local.
Some, if not all, of their kids are able to drive themselves to and from school, after-school activities, weekend events, etc.
Is that you? If so, how much time has creeped back into your day as a result? Probably more than you think.
In all of the time you were being an Uber driver for your kids, how much time did you allocate for yourself for any kind of self-care? Probably not much because you were focused on taking care of everybody else, which is a noble thing.
But it doesn’t necessarily prepare you for life’s challenges ahead in terms of your health, both mentally and physically.
Ask yourself: “What could happen if I prioritized myself more on a day-to-day basis?”
If your kids aren’t as self-sufficient at this point, the question is still worth asking.
What does prioritizing yourself look like for non-parents and parents alike? Some examples:
Spending time with friends
Taking up a new hobby or getting back into a hobby that fell by the wayside
Getting outside by yourself for a walk
1998: The year of boy bands, continued Spice Girls dominance and Jill taking a leap of faith…
What was happening:
Living in London
Working a ton
Going out plenty
Having a ball
Not taking care of myself
Diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis
I did not know how to cook back then. Never had any interest. I had been living overseas for 2 years and had started to get into food. As in going out to really interesting places.
I was so pathetic at cooking I once paid my sister to cook me some scrambled eggs. This was in my mid-20s. Sad, but true.
I would take the Underground every day to and from work. It was late December and I kept seeing this catalog of continuing education classes being advertised. Here was my thought process:
“What class would I take?”
“Meh. I have a lot of work to do. No time.”
I finally decided to pick up the catalog. More internal dialogue:
“Hang on a minute. It would be cool to learn how to cook.”
Thumbed through the classes. Most were during the day, not for beginners or logistically complex. Then an option appeared — once per week for 8 weeks.
“No, I’d have to leave work early [6pm]. Too much to do.”
Again this was the late ‘90s so you had to pay in person. You couldn’t buy online. You had to make the physical effort to make the purchase.
“Fuck it. I’m going to do it.”
I signed up for the class. Every week without fail, I would lament about how much work I had to do. I can’t go…..
I would then remember how happy I would be coming home from class with leftovers I made. In the end, I never missed a class. This was a BFD moment.
That one step of thinking about the possibility of being able to cook for myself led to other milestones that have stayed with me 25 years later. Learning how to cook ended up playing a pivotal role in getting healthier. I didn’t know that when I took the class. I was able to know what was in my food because I made it myself. Another BFD.
What does the research say when you focus on the ‘possible’?
One of my favorite people, who also happens to be a fantastic marketer, always reminded us ‘product’ people to shift away from the utility of the product we were building to the possibilities of using the product.
She was, and continues to be, so right. Studies show people buy experiences, not things.
She was saying to take away the task piece of using the product. Focus on the possibility piece of what the product would allow you to do.
Research has shown when people focus on possibility and future solutions, they create more concrete and actionable plans towards achieving their goals. That’s where Go Long comes in.
What would happen if…..
Think about it. What would happen if you took 15-30 minutes out of your day for you? Would the people in your life abandon you? Unlikely.
You have more time in your day than you think.
You are worthy of carving time out for yourself.
Need help carving time out for yourself?
Go Long can help YOU.
Those were some really good eggs.